Changing Lives
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: After a tension filled discussion with Hallie, Casey reluctantly goes to the bar for his first delivery celebration and end up confiding in the last person he expected to. Casey/Severide Based on eppy 1.07 Two Families 'contains some spoilers'


**Title: Changing Lives**

**Summary:** After a tension filled discussion with Hallie, Casey reluctantly goes to the bar for his first delivery celebration and end up confiding in the last person he expected to. Casey/Severide Based on eppy 1.07 Two Families 'contains some spoilers'

**Disclaimer: ** Chicago Fire and its characters are the property of Dick Wolfe, NBC and….well sadly not me lol

**A/N:** ohh the personal plot thickens hehe…I could have gone for the whole Casey confession to Dawson thing here but I'm sorry…I love my boys and their friendship (even if it wasn't as good as the week before!) gotta stick to them hehe hope you all like this.

_Note: "Words in italics and double quotes taken directly from episode"_

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_"I was a part of that. I want us to have a baby. Soon…now."_

_"I don't know if I'm ever gonna want kids. I want them because…you want them. But if I'm being honest I just…" her voice trailed off._

"So then…only because of me?"

"Maybe you are just caught up in the baby moment…I mean to be right there…deliver the baby…Matt I know the feeling…the rush…seeing that precious little life in your hands but…"

"It's more…"

"I know…Matt I get it okay I do but…" Hallie offers in a softer tone, looking at his tense posture with a worrisome frown.

"But you don't want them."

"Would you want me just to give in to please you?"

"No, that wouldn't be fair to any of us," Casey acknowledges with a heavy sigh. "I thought um…you spending the day with your sister…"

"Would help change my mind?" Hallie asks in surprise. "Yeah it made me happy I could give them back. I'm just not ready…to have a child…raise a family or my own…we both know what a huge responsibility that is. We would both have to be on board and let's face it…the mother does the bulk of the work. I'm just not…"

"I would help…"

"As much as you could and I appreciate that but I'm just not…"

"Ready," he looks over at her with a small smile. "I guess…maybe…maybe it was the moment. Seeing that little child…the parent's faces…the situation," he muses as he shakes his head, his mind flashing back to the interstate pileup just as the child finally drew its first breath and was welcomed to the world by a hearty cry. "It was pretty amazing," he half whispers as his lips curl slowly. "But you're right…we both hafta be on the same page."

Her hand slips into his and gives his fingers a tender squeeze, prompting him to look over with a warm expression. "Let's wait a few weeks and talk about this again…see how you feel then okay?"

"I've always wanted a family Hallie…you know that."

"I know," she nods as they remain in position for a few minutes longer, just looking at the other with wondering glances; each now pondering the longevity of their relationship with something so serious now up for discussion – each taking very different sides.

"Okay I have to get to work," Hallie finally breaks the silence as she pulls away.

"I have a celebration to get to."

"Just make sure you don't drive," she lightly teases, making his face crease into a relaxed grin once more. He gives her a tender kiss before they both part ways; Hallie getting ready to head to the hospital and Casey to the bar, his mind and heart both now somewhat reluctant about going to the bar for his first delivery celebration. But then again, maybe drowning his sorrows with his friend Jack Daniels wouldn't be that bad an idea.

Casey enters the bar and walks up to Dawson just as she takes a shot and orders two more; Dawson looking up with an inviting smile as he slowly sits down beside her. They make small talk for a bit, his mind waging a small war between telling her about Hallie and the whole children situation and reminding himself that it was their decision and it was private – at least while they were still engaged and he has to respect that.

"This seat taken?" Casey hears a friendly voice ask about twenty minutes later.

"No," Casey simply replies as he looks back down at his glass, Severide offering him a frown before he looks up at Dawson who merely shrugs in return.

"So…" Severide starts, lifting Casey's blue eyes upward. "You look…depressed," he slightly smirks. "This celebration is for you tonight right?"

"So I have been told."

"Okay so next rounds on me. What will that be four?"

"Two," Casey nods as he takes a swig of the golden poison in his glass and looks back down.

"Two…you're this…way after only two," Severide comments as he takes a swig of his own glass. "You wanna talk about it?"

"That baby…out there…" Casey starts as he looks up and leans back further into his chair at the same time, his body sagging downward a bit. "Yeah…never mind."

"You tell Hallie about the delivery? Your first?" Severide asks with a broad smile.

"I did…and she thought it was…great."

"Great," Severide repeats slowly. "Okay so there's more life in the corpse we took out of that warehouse last week than in you tonight. What's going on?"

"We um…" Casey starts with a heavy frown just as Otis plunks himself down beside them.

"And here is…" he pauses as he pulls out his phone and holds it up for Casey to see that he is going to record. "The man of the hour…Lieutenant Matt Casey from…what?"

"Just…maybe tomorrow okay?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Sure…okay," Otis remarks as he lowers his phone and looks over at Severide who merely shrugs and then frowns.

"Was for his podcast," Severide informs Casey.

"I know…you know how many hits that thing has so far?"

"Really?"

"Actually might be a good recruiting tool," Casey ponders.

"Delivering a baby…that's kinda cool to people out there if you want to talk recruiting tips."

"When was your first?"

"Two years back…remember it was…"

"Oh yeah…that kid in the motel."

"Damn she was…so young," Severide huffs as he takes a swig of his whiskey, watching Casey take a larger gulp and then slightly gasp afterward. "You eaten yet?"

"Not really hungry."

"Wow yeah you got it bad."

"What?"

"Whatever it is that's bugging you. The last two days were tense but with Voight still in jail awaiting his hearing figured you'd be on top of the world or something."

"I should be," Casey nods as he takes another swig and then gestures for another.

"Okay we should order something…that is strong stuff on an empty stomach."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well me buying you a round should be one you enjoy not just…something's up. Hallie threaten to leave or something? Because I thought you two…"

"Yeah…we're good okay. I'm just not hungry."

"Hey Casey way to go!" One of the team walks back, giving him a friendly slap on the back.

"Thanks," Casey offers with a small smile as he downs the last few droplets in the glass and then stands up to leave. Severide looks up in wonder as he downs the contents of his first drink. "I'm done."

"Already?"

"Yeah I'm tired."

"Hallie?"

"Working tonight. I'll…see you tomorrow."

"Did he drive?" Severide stands up, asking Dawson as he tosses a few dollars on the table.

"Don't think so. He's been up and down all night," she replies with a frown. "Do you know what's up?"

"I'll find out."

"Kelly," Dawson calls him back.

"I know," he nods, feeling her concern. He hurries out the front door and finally spies Casey to the right heading for a waiting cab. "Matt!" He calls out as he hurries after him, gently taking him by the arm and waving the taxi away. "So what's going on?"

"I didn't feel like celebrating tonight. Is that okay?"

"Sure…fine. You wanna go home?"

"No. I can take…"

"Back to the house…what?"

"Look I just…I need to go back."

"Okay. Back where?" Severide asks as he watches Casey turn and head for his car. "You wanna tell me where?" He asks as they get into his dark car.

"The highway."

"What?"

"I just need to go back…back to where the baby was born."

"What? Really?"

"I can go al…"

"No…I don't mind but…okay," Severide finally concedes as he starts up the car and pulls away from the curb by the bar. Casey looks up and catches Dawson's glance just as they drive past. He had wanted to tell her…open up…ask her what she wanted for the future…did she want a family. But was that fair to Hallie? Was she right when she said he was just caught up in the moment? _Let's wait and see what happens in a few weeks…wait until you come back down to reality, _Hallie had told him earlier. _ I want children…that won't change in a few weeks. _Then you're stuck.

"So anywhere…"

"You know the spot…I just need…"

"Okay," Severide agrees in a low tone as he slows his car near the spot and then stops, watching with a wondering glance as Casey gets out and walks a few feet in front of the car. He watches as Casey walks to the area across from where the car was that he had delivered the baby the night before and then stops.

"Anything seem…different tonight?" Severide asks as he stops a few feet from Casey and leans against the side fence and stares out into the sporadic traffic moving past.

"She said something tonight…and it um…it hurt," Casey states simply.

"Who?"

"Hallie…said she only wanted kids because I did," he lightly growls as he finally pulls away and walks to the right a few more feet. "I have always thought…I want kids and last night…when I helped deliver that baby I saw…"

"Hallie?" Severide interjects as Casey nods in confirmation. "And you thought that was…your kid."

"That feeling," Casey turns away with a small smile. "It was…amazing. I tried to explain that to her and she…" he pauses as he turns back with a tormented expression, "she didn't get it. She looked at me with…it might as well have been pity but it wasn't understanding."

"Was she happy at all?"

"She was honest. And…and I do appreciate that. I mean having kids is a big deal."

"Especially since moms do most of the work," Severide adds as Casey slowly wanders back to him.

"And we both have to be on board. She said that too and I agree. I don't want to pressure her but…but I don't want to say goodbye yet either. I thought coming back here tonight might…maybe it was the moment but…"

"Did it change? Do you still feel the same magic as last night?"

Casey looks back toward the highway, picturing the large traffic accident, sees the two teams huddled around the car, him on his knees, the frantic couple a few feet away, Dawson on the radio and his mind and heart racing at the same time as the baby's head was breaching. He sees himself, nervous and excited at the same time and wonders now how he managed so calmly and was able to deliver the baby; giving it CPR for a few seconds and then feeling his eyes water as the first cry is heard by all; a congratulatory round of applause forthcoming from those standing and bearing witness.

"Yeah…it's still there," he humbly admits as he turns back to Severide with a small frown. "I love Hallie…I do…but I want a family and she…it's not fair of me to push her into something she doesn't want is it?"

"Would you want to be pushed into something you didn't want?"

"Is that rhetorical?"

"Yeah it is," Severide lightly smiles.

"No it's not fair and I know that."

"So that's why the sour mood tonight?"

"I thought spending the day with her sister and the kids…even when we talked about it before I know it was mostly my enthusiasm feeding it but…but tonight she told me straight up. She doesn't know if she wants them."

"Sorry," Severide offers weakly, not really knowing what else to say but also not wanting to just say nothing.

"Yeah…" Casey looks up with a small frown. "Me too. Maybe she's right…maybe it was just the magic of the night."

"Give it a few weeks…maybe a few months and then see what happens."

"Okay," Casey nods as he offers Severide a tight lipped smile. "I just…it was magical wasn't it?"

"It was," Severide agrees. "Even for all of us standing and watching. It was pretty special."

"And I thought when she felt my enthusiasm…"

"She'd get caught up in that also?"

"Something like that. Silly right?"

"Not if you want a family as bad as you," Severide notes in truth as Casey looks over with pursed lips. "Pretty obvious from what you said."

"And it has to be with the right person."

"Matt…"

"No…it just means I have some thinking to do. Last night changed my life and tonight…I guess it changed hers," he offers with a morose tone.

"Yesterday changed a few of our lives," Severide answers absently; Casey's brows rising as he looks at him in wonder. "It was special," he adds in haste, not wanting to hint about his worry over the drug test and his resolve to change the situation after the tension; especially after Shay had made him feel like he had done something wrong and there might not be a next time. _Tonight is about your friend…focus on that._

"You wanna go?"

"I guess we should," Casey finally agrees, trying to swallow back his rising melancholy and stick to the plan that he and Hallie had made before she left for work. _Give it a few weeks…a few months…revisit it then._

"So home or back to the bar? I still owe you a round you know," Severide mentions as they head back to the city.

"Home is good…another time."

"Okay," Severide nods. Silence starts to build as they near Casey's house and he looks over at him and frowns, able to tell from his downcast expression and tightly closed fists that tonight had taken more than its toll on his mental wellbeing and whatever else he and Hallie discussed was now eating away at him.

"Thanks," Casey replies as the car stops in front of his darkened house. "Good night."

"Yeah…g'night," Severide offers in a friendly tone as Casey pushes himself out of the car and slowly heads toward the front door. Severide looks at his slumped shoulders and knows that being alone in that house for the bulk of the night will just force Casey's mind to dwell upon morose thoughts; something that wasn't good for anyone, no matter what.

"Hey…you know…" Severide mentions in haste as he jumps out and slowly heads toward Casey's front yard. "Shay sent me a text asking for some extra time alone…you wanna watch the replay of the parade?"

"Kidding?"

"Actually. No. I don't really wanna go back to the bar either."

"I think I can find something to eat."

"Sounds good," Severide catches up and the two of them slowly trudge up the stairs into the quiet home.

"You serious about watching the parade?"

"Yeah why not? Those floats and stuff are always good for a laugh. Unless…something else is on?"

"At this hour? Reality TV?"

"The Desperate Fire Fighters of Chicago," Severide jokes in a mocking tone, finally making Casey's face relax.

"I hear that Lady Gaga's boyfriend is gonna be in the parade."

"Really? What's he like? Would he remind me of anyone I know?"

"Not really," Casey smirks as they head into the living room and slump down on the opposite chairs.

"Do you really have food?"

"Uh…not much."

"I'll order a pizza."

"You're still buying me the drink," Casey calls out with a small laugh as Severide heads into the hallway with his phone, ordering a large pizza and then heading into the kitchen to get something to drink. He grabs two cans of pop and then heads back toward the living room, rounding the corner and looking at Casey holding a picture of himself with a few kids from a charity event last year and feels his own heart sink for his friend. Casey looks up with a tormented frown as he places the picture back on the small table and then takes the cool can of pop.

"Yesterday was special."

"Yeah…it really was. So…what's on?"

**THE END!**

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**A/N**: Okay so a little bit of a lighter piece (hey they can't all have whump in them or you guys might want to hang me haha) but I do hope you all liked this for our boys and it make you chuckle or smile. And yeah haha well Lady Gaga does have good taste and her and Taylor have been together for a year. So please do review before you go and thanks so much and yes Hidden Agenda will update next


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